Thoroughly Defeated

Well, here I am back from my jog, thoroughly defeated. My first stab at jogging since 1998, and I last precisely 5 minutes. The past two years have not been kind to my body. I’ve put on about 20 useless pounds, and in my zeal to avoid paying money to run on a treadmill beside the other lab rats, I decided to hit the pavement again. I hardly had time to break a sweat before my heart began pounding, my head began spinning, and my legs began turning to jelly. It’s humiliating. I guess now my grand goal of running a half hour each night will have to be scaled back, to about 10 minutes every two nights, at least until my heart and I get onto the same page.

I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled…