Movie Night

Brooke is away until tomorrow, so tonight I invited Brent (my ex-roommate and best man) over to sample my latest culinary triumph, Apple and Caraway Stuffed Chicken Breasts (I changed the recipe to leave out the currants). Don’t worry. I’ve made this for Brooke twice already. We ate dinner watching The Man Who Came To Dinner (1942), accompanied by half a bottle of Château La Baronne. Things sure have changed since my bachelor days!

The movie was fine, but marred I think by some odd casting. Bette Davis is great, but playing opposite her was some rube named Richard Travis, who was absolutely wooden and boring. It’s no wonder he was limited to B-movies for the rest of his career. And Jimmy Durante? Well, it’s a good thing his screen time was limited to about 15 minutes, as that’s about all I could take. I love screwball comedies, but there are many finer examples than this. From this era alone, you could take His Girl Friday (1940), or The Philadelphia Story (1940), or any of Preston Sturges’ films (The Lady Eve (1941), The Palm Beach Story (1942), Sullivan’s Travels (1942)). It’s true that they don’t make films like this anymore, and The Man Who Came To Dinner would be a great film if released today. It’s just not that great when compared to some of the other greats of its time.

By way of contrast, this morning I watched a recent Bollywood blockbuster, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998). Unbelievably corny, and filled with impossible plot twists; nevertheless, I was completely absorbed. The chemistry between the two leads was very real, and the emotions were genuine. Well before the predictably happy ending, I was reaching for the Kleenex.

7 Scatalogical Terms…

Can you tell what movie this “review” is for?

“SEX/NUDITY 7 – We see a woman’s bare breasts and another woman in a bra and panties; they kiss passionately and caress each other. We see a woman passionately kissing many different men in quick shots. We see a poster of a fully nude woman. A man and woman kiss passionately and hold each other. A man and woman kiss briefly and the man touches the woman’s face tenderly. A woman wears a tight fitting slip, a man is shown bare to the waist and in jockey shorts, a man getting a massage is bare to the waist, and we see a painting of a woman in a bikini revealing some cleavage. A man refers to being in love with his adopted sister. Two men hug in friendship.

VIOLENCE/GORE 5 – A man slits his wrists during a suicide attempt; we see his arms covered with streaming blood, he falls to the floor and we see puddles of blood when he is discovered (we later see the long, stitched up wounds). A man drives recklessly through a street crashing into a house, nearly hitting two children, and killing a dog (we don’t see this, but there are references to it); he goes through a window and we see some blood on his forehead. There are references to a woman having been killed in a plane crash. There is a reference to a girl having lost half of her finger (we see a scene of a man’s alarmed face as he brings a hatchet down into a log and presumably cuts the girl’s finger off); we see her with a wooden attachment throughout the film. A man stabs a man in the stomach with a Swiss army knife; we see him treating the wound later and there’s a blood spot on his shirt. A man punches a glass window breaking it and we see his bloody, bandaged hand later. A man shoots a boy with a BB gun and we hear that a BB is lodged in his hand. A man chases another man through a house, knocking a man down some stairs as they go, and when he catches up with him he pounds his head into a brick wall several times and then throws him over it. A man is hit in the eye. A boy has a spot of blood on his forehead. A woman slaps a man in the face. A man is shown on a stretcher and there’s talk of him having a broken ankle. A man and two boys run through traffic, ride on the back of a moving garbage truck, are chased by a taxi driver after they throw water balloons at his car, and do other reckless things. A man falls to the floor when he tries to stand up. A man talks about having been stabbed in the stomach. We see a group of people standing over the grave of a dog. There is a reference to a man having had a heart attack and dying. A man talks to another man about symptoms of an illness (nausea, vomiting, seizures). A girl wears a zebra costume with red paint spots on it (representing blood). A skeleton is uncovered at a dig site, a skeleton hangs in a woman’s office, and we see a mounted boar’s head a few times.

PROFANITY 5 – 3 F-words, 7 scatological terms, 1 sexual reference, 6 anatomical terms, 27 mild obscenities, 3 religious profanities, 2 religious exclamations, 3 derogatory terms for African-Americans, 1 derogatory term for a woman, 1 derogatory term for Irish-Americans.

DISCUSSION TOPICS – Separation, divorce, broken families, being a genius, adoption, drug use and abuse, suicide, dysfunctional families, cancer, disappointment, being disbarred, depression, infidelity, failing your children.

MESSAGE – We should all be given the opportunity to fix the mistakes we have made in our lives.

(Note: Several characters are seen smoking throughout the movie and one man is shown to be addicted to drugs; one scene shows him in front of a table covered with a variety of drugs.)”

Now, I don’t have kids, but even if I did, breaking a movie down into little bits of offensive material to shield them from reality completely misses the point. How about talking to your kids about the real world? If you’re still stumped, here’s a link to the full review. Oh, and by the way, how does a boar’s head or a skeleton hanging in someone’s office represent violence or gore? That type of subtle reasoning seems laughable in the face of the overall purpose of the site.

New Hobbies

I’ve been pretty scarce online of late. As I mentioned last week, I’m becoming interested in “Bollywood” films, and have been reading and trying to research a little bit. As if there weren’t enough films to watch already! Another thing that’s been taking a lot of my time lately is my growing interest in wine. I’ve just finished reading an excellent introduction, entitled The Windows on the World Complete Wine Course, by Kevin Zraly. It’s hard to believe that Windows on the World, the restaurant at the top of the now vaporized World Trade Center, used to sell more than 10,000 bottles of wine per month. Brooke and I begin a four week “course” in wine appreciation this week at one of our friendly neighbourhood LCBO stores. This is to prepare us for a weekend to some Niagara wineries in August, and eventually for our Sonoma trip in October.

We did, of course, watch some movies this weekend. Men in Black II (2002) was completely disposable. It felt like they put the de-neuralyzer on the audience at the end, that’s how much of the film I remember. We did rent Ocean’s Eleven (2002), which was much more enjoyable. Though it was purely entertainment, at least it was smartly-written entertainment. I love the sort of movie where at least there’s some cleverness used. They didn’t just shoot up the place. Great music, great costumes, and lots of other cinematic flourishes made this a winner for me. It’s Steven Soderbergh, after all. I can’t wait to see what he’ll do with Solaris. I’ve seen the original Solaris (1972), and it’s hard to imagine George Clooney in this film. The older film was long, meditative, and creepy. A bit like 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), in fact. I hope Soderbergh can make a sci-fi film without too many explosions.

Bollywood Shuffle

I’ve become interested in the Hindi film industry (often referred to as “Bollywood”) over the past few months. I’ll admit that what got me interested were the song from a film called Gumnaam (1965) which was used in Ghost World (2001) and some of the music from Moulin Rouge! (2001). I bought a film called Sholay (1975) from a site called IndiaWeekly and was pleased to note that most Bollywood DVDs are not only long (three hours is average), but also ridiculously cheap, at least from this vendor. I think the disc was US$6.99.

Well, today I decided to try to track down some Indian DVDs here in Toronto. I found a bunch of Indian grocery stores around Bloor and Lansdowne and proceeded to look for some titles I’m interested in: Company (2002), Satya (1998), Amar Akbar Anthony (1977), and Jewel Thief (1967). Though these are all available online, I thought I’d try for a little instant gratification. Well, it was like pulling teeth. All Indian grocery stores seem to rent discs, but trying to buy one is an ordeal. They sell them, but don’t have them on display. Instead, they’d ask, “Which ones are you looking for?” and then search for them. I tried four different stores, and none of them had any of the discs I was searching for. And when I asked how much they usually sell for, I was told $25-35. Hello, IndiaWeekly? Clickety Click!

Oh, and last night? Well, last night we felt brainless and rented Shallow Hal (2001), the latest from the Farrelly brothers. It was actually pretty sentimental and “feel-good.” Unfortunately, it wasn’t very funny. And when it tried to be funny, it used either the self-deprecating humour of a man with spina bifida (which wasn’t funny), or relied on the old tried-and-true fat jokes, which in addition to running counter to the film’s “message,” also weren’t funny. It did manage a few moments of charm, but overall, I think the Farrellys are getting soft.